Tuesday, October 13, 2009


My relationship moves in a cycle. Star and I sat and hashed it out. It was eye opening and irratating. Eye opening because I said things out loud that I normally bury deep into my brain.
The cycle moves like this. We get along great for awhile to a long time due to the fact I ignore certain behaviors and don't say what is on my mind. Translation-- I am not honest. He hides behind his rudness by saying he is honest. But when I am honest, I was informed that something was wrong with me because I am not happy staying at home. (stagnanting) He claimed later that he said that in anger.

Two weeks ago i informed him that if we have another shitty weekend then I would be staying every weekend at my mothers from now on. Friday to sunday Nikki and I would have art retreats to my moms. His behavior changed.

I was giving it three weeks.

It took 6 days.

Tonight I found out my ex-step-grandfather is on a ventilator and has days or weeks left. I have not seen him in 15 years but I liked him and his family allot when I visited them for a month.

I went to my husband for comfort and everything was going well until he made the comment- we really don't have the money for you to go- I snapped at him that I knew that and it really sucked I didn'[t have the money to go see a dying family memeber. He then snatched his hand from me and snapped back that I just need to do whatever the hell I want. And he is tired of my attitude.

So now I was shocked because he is acting like an asshole and accusing me of having an attitude. Yes, I snapped. But did it not accure to him for a min or a nanosecond that I was mad that yet another family member is dying and I cannot go see them.
The fight escalated, and it got turned to him being tired of me being a bitch and he does not feel like putting up with my attitude. So I gathered up my child and told him I am sorry for being such a bitch then walked out. I made sure everylight in the house was on and I did my dishes. Noisily.

So the Passive Aggressive fun starts.

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